5 Tips That Will Strengthen Your Marriage

Marriage is becoming a very frightening institution nowadays. Many are choosing not to marry and those who do have a 1 in 2 chance of divorce. It is so devastating to watch marriages crumbling and even becoming non-existent. Yet, it seems like a happy and lasting marriage still seems to be a common goal for so many. I don’t feel as if marriages fall apart by one single occurrence but it is from lack of detail from the small things that are slowly and almost unnoticeably tearing that relationship apart. So what can we do to prepare for or make a change to ensure a lifelong marriage? I’m not married, and don’t pretend to know everything there is about marriage, but what I have found is that, whether single or married, if we incorporate these 5 things into our lives we will be able to have stronger marriages now and in the future.

1.    Be positive

The mind is an incredible thing. What we focus on grows and what we emphasize changes our views of the world. The more you accentuate the good, the more of that goodness you see. As we make the effort to see the good in our own lives and make it a way of living we will be able to find happiness now and in our marriages.

2.    Start listening

Have you ever had an experience where someone started trying to give you a solution to a problem before even really taking the time to listen to you and understand the situation? What about a time in your life when the thing you were trying to discuss was really just a way to open up about a deeper matter, only finding yourself to be brushed off or invalidated? I know I have. These moments can be terribly frustrating. When someone, especially our spouse, comes to us in an exasperated attitude from an experience they have had or brings up an issue they are facing, maybe we should take it as an opportunity to be talking a little less and listening a little more. You’ll be surprised what someone will share with you once they feel you are sincerely listening.

3.    Learn to forgive

People are not perfect, but it is so easy to hold others to a perfect standard, especially those we are closest to. Making mistakes is a part of life and I propose we need to learn to move past what people have done and focus more on who they are at heart and who we can help them to become if we are the right support for them. It is ultimately an individual’s choice to change and we need to be willing to let them move past their flaws, recognizing that their weaknesses can become strengths with time and encouragement. There is no need for us to define people so much by what they have done that we don’t allow them to change and make their future different.

4.    Make time for the things that matter most

Life is crazy. I get that. It is easy when so many things are pulling for our every attention to get distracted from those things that matter the most in life. How many times do we put off spending time with those who are most important to us because we are so caught up in deadlines and other activities? If this is a common occurrence, then we need to take a moment and plan time to prioritize our life and put those things that are most important first.

5.    Be the you that you want to be

Marriage does not fix our problems for us. Marriage is a time to be strengthened by our partner, but we cannot expect them to be able to meet all of our needs for us. There simply will not be perfection in marriage and we need to be willing to see and accept that. Believing that marriage will make our life perfect all of a sudden allows doubt and unhappiness to slither its way into our precious marriage. We don’t have to wait until marriage to become the person we want to be and to decide to be happy with all that we have and are. If you are married, it is never too late to improve ourselves and continue to learn and grow.

I’m not married, and don’t pretend to know everything there is about marriage, but what I have found is that, whether single or married, if we incorporate these 5 things into our lives we will be able to have stronger marriages now and in the future.